Before the Passion: The Agony

The cavern he knelt was filled with frightful figures; all the sins, wickedness, vices, and ingratitude of mankind were torturing and crushing Him to the earth, the horror of death and the death which He felt as man at the sight of the sufferings about to come to Him, surrounded and attacked His Divine person. He fell from side to side, clasping His hands, His body was covered with cold sweat, and He trembled and shivered. He then rose up but His knees were shaking and apparently scarcely able to support Him, His countenance was pale and quite altered in appearance, His lips were white and His hair standing on end. It was about ten o clock when He arose from His knees and bathed in cold sweat and motioned His weak trembling footsteps towards His three apostles.

He got to the spot where they were and there, they were sleeping: exhausted with fatigue, sorrow and anxiety. He came to them like a man overwhelmed with bitter sorrow, who terror urges to seek His friends but also like a good shepherd for He knew they also were being tried by suffering and temptation. Even at that, the terrible visions never left him, even while He went to seek His disciples, when He found that they were asleep, He clasped His hands and fell on His knees beside them, overcame with sorrow and anxiety and said “Simon, sleepest thou?” They awoke and raised Him up and He in desolation of spirit said to them: “What? Could you not watch one hour with me?” When they looked at Him, they saw Him, pale and exhausted scarcely able to support Himself, bathed in sweat, trembling and shivering.

Jesus became vulnerable with these three apostles, for they saw Him now at His lowest point, weak, beaten and desolate, had it not been for the halo of light which He was always surrounded, they wouldn’t have recognized Him in this pitiful state. There was no way the remaining eight apostles would have seen Jesus in that state of agony without been scandalized, they might even yield to temptation and forget much of the past or even lose their confidence in Jesus. But Peter, James and John has seen the son of man transfigured, and these may also see Him under a cloud and in dereliction of spirit: nevertheless He told them to watch and pray lest ye fall into temptation, for the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.

Then Jesus, unrelieved of all the weight of His sufferings, returned to where he prayed He fell prostrate with His face on the ground and prayed to His Eternal Father, but His soul had to sustain this combat. The angels appeared and helped Him but not without showing Him all He had to endure.

As the time of His arrest was slowly approaching, He went up to the three apostles again, this time they weren’t asleep, when they saw Him, His face was pale and bloody and His hair in disorder, he had indescribably changed. He told them in sorrowful accents that the next day, He would be put to death and that in an hour’s time, He should be seized, led before a tribunal, maltreated, outraged, scourged and finally put to the cruelest death. He besought them to console His mother.’

And then, He spoke “Behold the hour is at hand and the Son of Man shall be betrayed into the hands of sinners” He said “arise let us go, behold He is at hand that will betray me” the apostles rose up and looked round with anxiety, but Jesus pointed out to them at some distance, a band of armed men who were advancing with torches and He said today I will deliver myself to the hands of sinful men”

Prayer

Suffering Lord, You are most merciful and compassionate: look with pity on my nothingness and keep my eyes focused on you Amen

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